You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
