"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
