piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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