we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
