stop calling my apartment porn island.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
