some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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