does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
