I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize