You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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