Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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