one might say we're banned from that church
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
