"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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