I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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