I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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