the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
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Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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