Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
