Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
