Your tits are I can't wait for
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize