Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
