Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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