We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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