that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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