i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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