he was CRYING into my vagina
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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