so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
