I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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