He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
