AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
