Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
