I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
