My friends, they love my intelligence
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
