He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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