That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
How naked do you want me to be?
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