Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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