Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize