apparently the secret to your success is patron
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My feet surprised me
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