I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
