I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
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You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize