I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
