Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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