I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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