if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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