You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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