Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
