I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
