how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
