So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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