Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
