I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize