I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
