could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
