I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
