she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Please don't give away my fajitas
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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