I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
