We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
