YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
