You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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