Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
