Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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